He's Back!

Warm weather has come back, & Bogie is back.

I've been battling for about a year now. I've only let him live, because I've been very busy with my revolution & he's being funded by this evil organization which has proved to be evasive.
Groundhogs are giant rats. Why is there a GroundHog Day?
Why isn't there the Bestest Animal Day? Of course the bestest animal would be canines.

I've come up with a new plan. My Hu-Man parents are such losers that they play Mouse Trap. I've come up with a Groundhog Trap.

I’ve to go outside to set it.

I’ll be having groundhog for dinner.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

I Need to Adpot New Parents...Here I Come Grandma

For those of you who don't know how freakin' business I'm, I'll mention just a few things that have been on my agenda:

1. Taking over the world
1. Do you how much paper work is involved? Hell how did Hitler do it so quickly. It must have been the mustache.
2. Guarding the house from invaders.
3. Sleeping
1. Dictators & potential dictators need their sleep, look at Castro.
4. Eating
1. I need all the peanut butter to keep my strengths up.
5. Belly Scratches
1. It gets my back right leg moving.
6. Freeing the World of Groundhogs
1. Particularly Bogie, the Groundhog who lives next door.

I was resting in front of the door when I hear something. This something is an unpleasant noise. Groundhog! I jump up and look out the front screen door. I see him coming out of the house next door. He dug a hole in the front of the house so he would avoid me in the back. I can’t control my excitement. I rush to the back door assuming my parents who are sitting on the futon watching Lou Dobbs will let me out back. I wait & I wait. Nothing. Meanwhile that Groundhog could be killing everything in its path.

I return to the front door glancing at parents who didn’t even notice. I lay back down. Then I hear him again. I run to the front door. I see him there by the next door neighbor’s sidewalk eating grass.

Again, I rush to the back door making sure I stare at my parents on the way. Nothing.

I hear my Mommy get up, but she goes to the front door. I hear her say to my Daddy, “Hon’ come look. Bogie is out.” I still can’t believe they named that rodent!

I’m packing up & heading for Grandma’s.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

Do You Know How Freakin' Busy I Am?

The Revolution To Take Over The World is on hold while I battle him!
Who is he?
His name is Bogie the Groundhog. My Mommy and Daddy had named that stupid large squirrel Bogie. (Traitors! I may have to reconsider their heads and poles. No more jokes Joey. We all know you are a Pole. You think some poeple wouldn't want to advertise such a thing. Just kiddin' Joey, I'll still lick you in the face.)

Back to Bogie the Groundhog, he lives underneath the house next door.
He is my enemy.
He must die!
Two days ago I had him cornered.
I was going to grab him by the scruff of the neck and shake him to death by snapping his neck.
But guess who stops me? Just guess!
No, not O.J. Simpson! He was cheering me on & left some lawyers’ bidness cards.
It was Mommy The Traitor!

Mommy this is for you:
Your head is going on a pole. I don't care if you make my food, because I have a weak stomach. Grandma will do it for me, because I'm her favorite granddog.

Whatever! I’ll kill when I want to! I’ll eat when I want to! I’ll bark when I want to! Whatever!


LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

NO MORE TEA PARTIES FOR YOU, MR. GROUNDHOG!!!

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!!!

A Couple Of Things

First, I have killed another punk groundhog. It thought that it could come into my backyard with impunity. Now, its head is on a pole. Actually, Mommy put it in the trash. Daddy was away at school when this happened, so he got out of cleaning up my mess once again. He's pretty smart, that Daddy of mine, always away when I kill an animal.

Second, this dude is going to be the first person whose head goes an a pole when I start the Revolution. I'm pretty sure that this punk was just trying to make a statement and that the dog didn't actually starve to death, but tying a dog up is an unforgivable insult. It reminds all dogs of our status as slaves to Hu-Mans and those who engage in it will not be forgiven. Prepare to feel my wrath, I will do to you what I've done to the groundhogs who wander into my yard!!!

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

So Many Updates

First off, I settled things with that punk Border Collie next door.  He thought I was pretending to be Cash, but I assured him I was the real thing.  He gets a lot of dogs coming around saying that they are Cash in order to get half his dog treats as a tribute.  I can't blame him for being cautious, if I wasn't me, I'd want to be me.  Does that sentence make sense?  

Regardless, I made a lot of money today.  I had my friend Herm Edwards get the Chiefs to take out Tom Brady, and they didn't disappoint.

Sorry, Murk, Malach, Col. Col., Mooooog, and other Pats fans, I know you wanted to win the Super Bowl this year (especially after last year)

but you have no idea how much money I made betting on Brady getting hurt in this game.  My Revolution is never going to have to worry about bouncing a check again.

In other news, I found a groundhog in the neighborhood.  Needless to say, I wasn't happy about this.  He's probably having tea parties all over the place.  Drink up, friend, you will soon learn what Cash does to groundhogs!

And finally, I've been keeping tabs on this cat in the neighborhood.  I caught it trying to steal my daddy's truck.  

You better take care of that pesky to-do list, kitty, your time is coming!

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

Another One Bites The Dust

I've been gone for a while because I've been so freakin' busy. This is what I've done...
1) Defended mom and dad. There's a lot of danger out there.
2) Defended the home. There's a lot of danger out there.
3) Got rid of the groundhog. It got scared and ran away. Are you surprised? You shouldn't be, I'm pretty intimidating.
4) Got my first taste of blood...

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!