Plumbers Fear Me!

I'm just minding my own bid-nez sleeping & dreaming of Hu-Man’s downfall, when I hear someone coming up the steps. I know my Daddy’s footsteps, because he has strong assertive footsteps. I know my Mommy’s footsteps, because she’s a klutz who trips or falls all the time. I know my Grandma’s footsteps, because it is light and slow. She has trouble with stairs. Damn you Arthritis! I will bite and tear Arthritis all up!

I do not recognize these footsteps. It is foreign. I don’t like the smell that’s approaching. It smells like Daddy when he leaves the bathroom after eating Mexican. I’m on guard. All my senses are alert. I bark, not a pussy bark common among pussy dogs. My bark is deep and low warning the intruder, “Put your hands in the air; and leave my property, or you will face my wrath.”

The intruder sticks the key in the keyhole. I think to myself, “How does this intruder have a key? Unless he has harmed Daddy or Mommy or even Grandma!” Rage is building up inside me. I pity the fool who harms my peeps or trespasses on my prop.

The door opens… I lunge towards it teeth snarling. A short man with a mustache jumps back and yanks the door shut. I hear him crying. Serves him right. He could be bleeding to death now.

Moments later my Mommy comes home. She puts me out in the backyard explaining something about leaks. She should be more concern about the intruder. She then lets the intruder in. Idiot!!! I know she’s not that bright. GOSH!!!

I remain by the screen door, barking and growling a low guttural growl. Mommy finally lets me in, and I run over to the intruder who Mommy calls “Plumber”. I’ll plumber him, if he’s not careful. I lunge at his boots, because they smell so good. I lick his boots, and determine he's okay. He better never try to come in again, stinky boots or no stinky boots.
LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!