Thunderstorms

Thunderstorms are the work of cats. I hate them. Cats create them to distract attention from their reprehensible activities such as getting Hu-Mans to pet them and lacing Hu-Man foods with catnip.
My mommy and daddy don't understand why it is that I get so close to them during thunderstorms. They think that I am afraid, but that is not the case. I get close to them to make sure that they are safe and that no cats attempt to sneak into the house and force mommy and daddy to pet them.
That is why I get close to mommy and daddy during thunderstorms, and that is why I will not calm down until they are both nearby. It is not because I am afraid.
I'm serious, I am NOT afraid of thunderstorms. I am protecting my family from evil cats. I hate cats.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

Disturbing Omes

Mr. Laptop (aka The Man Who Comes With Grandma) has decided that he wants to get a new job. This means that Grandma may end up moving from her home. Everyone in the family thinks that this is a great idea and that moving will be exciting. I think this is terrible.
I will lose the one home that has a doggie-door, my base of operations in the suburbs, and my own private ocean (they have a little pool that I like to climb into when no one is looking). Not only that, but they live near a golf course that I poop on during my morning walks when I stay there. I try to poop in the holes to give the golfers an extra surprise! Stupid golfers. That dumb game will be one of the first things to go when my revolution comes.
I really think that this plan of theirs is terrible and that it fails to take account of what I want to do, which should be the most important thing in the world to them. I'm not sure exactly how I can stop them from trying to move, but I will try, believe me, I will try.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!