Bye, Uncle Jim!

You all remember my Uncle Jim who watched me while Mommy and Daddy went on vacation without me, right? Well, he's leaving me for some blonde whore out in Denver and another whore out in Carson City. I can't believe he's walking away from me!
I would normally be mad at Uncle Jim for this and put his head on a pole in retaliation, but I love him so much that I forgive him. Remember the good times we had, Uncle Jim!
LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

A Couple Of Things

First, I have killed another punk groundhog. It thought that it could come into my backyard with impunity. Now, its head is on a pole. Actually, Mommy put it in the trash. Daddy was away at school when this happened, so he got out of cleaning up my mess once again. He's pretty smart, that Daddy of mine, always away when I kill an animal.

Second, this dude is going to be the first person whose head goes an a pole when I start the Revolution. I'm pretty sure that this punk was just trying to make a statement and that the dog didn't actually starve to death, but tying a dog up is an unforgivable insult. It reminds all dogs of our status as slaves to Hu-Mans and those who engage in it will not be forgiven. Prepare to feel my wrath, I will do to you what I've done to the groundhogs who wander into my yard!!!

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

Time For A New Politics

I'm tired of hearing about how politicians believe that they can change American culture. All they talk about is taxes, guns, the war in Iraq, and why people in Pennsylvania are so bitter. Meanwhile, they ignore the most important issue facing the country -- anti-dog bigotry, anti-black dog bigotry in particular. Read this article here and just try and tell me with a straight-face that you are not outraged.
Black dogs, like myself, are some of the sweetest, most gentle, and kindest dogs you will find (except for Carmen). While it is true that we are prone to start revolutions, it is also true that we are extremely loyal and will go out of our way to defend those who treat us right.
America, if you want to avoid having your collective head put on a pole, then let go your bigotry and start adopting more of my black-haired brethren.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

Happy Birthday to ME, Cash!

Happy Birthday to ME!

Happy Birthday to Me the Great Revolutionary!

Happy Birthday to ME the Bringer of Hu-Man Death!

Happy Birthday to ME the Impaler!

Happy Birthday to ME the Maker of Malach’s Head On a Pole!

Happy Birthday to ME the Eater of Grilled Carmen!

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!