Three Items

Over the River & Through the Woods to Grandma's House I go:

I'm going to Grandma's for almost a whole month. I'm going there so I can cheer up my Aunt Skadi. She's depressed ever since Aunt Sugar died. Grandma's house is totally awesome. They have a doggie door, a pond, & Grandma is home all day to feed/walk me whenever I want. Sweet!

Snoopy:
The little dog on the corner is totally frighten of me. He hides in his house, and he pokes his head out the doggie door until I've walked passed. He is not Revolution material.

Don't mess with a Blue Tick:
Smokey, the University Tennessee's mascot, is one of my soldiers. Watch your step college football players! You're on notice!

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

Dog’s Addiction & The Liberals

ADDICTION:
Addiction is not funny, but NPR, that whole Left Wing Liberal Pansies Yanks, thinks it is. Just because a dog likes to get high by sucking on a toad doesn’t mean she’s an addict. She is just experimenting. I’m sure you all out there did some crazy stuff in college. I’m talking to you C.Rag with your pot smoking friends & carpet munching times.


LIBERALS:

If you liberal Hu-Mans had any sense you would rise up:

· kick Dub-Ya in the balls

· punch Dick in the face

· make Hastert go on a diet

· Actually do something:

o that helps the Middle Class, right on Lou Dobbs

o that cleans up the environment no more photos with you only hugging trees

o that stops illegals running around it’s called a smack down on businesses, fines, walls, & security

o that gets us out of that sand trap in the Middle East. You do not have to be the messiah to the whole world. The world may not want your good news.

o that fixes the education system. Look at Germany & Japan. Their systems seems to work. You want to know why, because not everyone is college material. Look at C.Rag she can’t spell. They have an intensive programs with technical training, apprenticeships, & tracks for those going on to Uni.

Last but not lease improve your Animal Rights or you will experience Our Wrath.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

Smack Down, Air Bud, & Dune

Smack Down
So there's this little dog who lives on the corner. He's not the brightest, and for whatever reason my mom calls him Snoopy. She has this tendency to make up names for other dogs in the neighborhood instead asking the owners the dogs’ real names. A dog's name is holy. My mom doesn't like to talk to people because well I think she's retarded or something like that. Anyways "Snoopy" isn't the sharpest knife in the cupboard. He runs along his fence barking. I ignore dogs who are beneath & not worthy to be part of my Revolution. Finally I had had enough! I laid a smack down on Snoopy, that butt licking beagle mix. I barked & growled back at him. He stopped and rolled on his back submitting to me. At least he knows a dictator when he hears one. It's tough regulating your hood & taking over the world at the same time.

AIR BUD:

Air Bud: Seventh Inning was on TV yesterday. This is an abomination to all canines. Number 1 don't dress a dog up in a baseball uniform. Number 2 dogs would never be pictured with a coon. We hate coons. We chase coons up a tree & hope they hang to death. This is just wrong!

DUNE:
My Hu-Man folks were watching David Lynch's Dune not the sucktacular SCIFI verison. The Duke Atreides was carrying around a pug. That's why you were assassinated by the Harkonnens. If you had Cash breed, it never would have happened.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

Grandma Loves Me, But her Decision-Making is Suspect

So, I got a package from Grandma today. It was a little small, so I figured it had directions to where all the treats that Grandma sent me were.
I was wrong, I only got a little bag of treats. I was happy to get some treats, especially since Mommy and Daddy are so cheap that instead of buying me new treats when mine ran out, they just waited a couple of days for Grandma's to show up, but I still wanted a bigger box.
I bet those rotten grandkids get bigger presents.
Regardless, I'm pretty happy with Grandma now. She's making the effort, and that's what counts.
LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

Grandma Doesn't Love Me Anymore

This post has been a long time coming. I saw signs of it, but I refused to admit it to myself. But, it is true, Grandma doesn't love me.
I first started to think this when I learned that Grandma was going to visit a new grandchild and that she couldn't make a little time to come see me for a weekend. But then it got confirmed by a package that she sent to Mommy and Daddy.
She sent some nice clothes for them in a very big box. I thought to myself, clothes for Mommy and Daddy, there must be something for me, too! After all, I'm her only Granddog. But I was wrong, there was nothing, nothing at all. I couldn't believe it! There were a whole lot of room available in the box because the clothes didn't take up that much room. She could have put in a jar of peanut butter, a couple of rawhides, pretty much anything.
But she didn't.
Why didn't she take the time to get me a present? I don't know, but she certainly would have given her grandchildren a present or two if she sent something to their Mommy and Daddy. I guess I'm not good enough for a present, though.
LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!
P.S. I don't even have the feeling behind this anymore.

New Plan

I know that I've been away for a while, but I've got a good reason. I've decided to move to England and I've been pretty busy working out the details. I need to find away to get around the quarantine requirements, I hate quarantine!
I'm sure that you want to know why I would move to England from my current super-secret location that I can't tell you about without having to kill you. The answer is simple, I watched V for Vendetta. That movie inspired me to kick my revolution into high gear. Seeing Parliament get blown up brought tears to my eyes, but it also made me think. You see, a lot of countries are pretty tough to take over. Some are a lot easier to take over, take Thailand. Not that I would want to take over Thailand, I'd be too busy avoiding being eaten to really make any changes there.
So, I decided to go somewhere easy, and England is it. I mean, if some guy can hide a bunch of dynamite in a subway train that just about anyone could come across at any time without the British government finding out about it, then England ought to be pretty easy to take down.
So, the revolution will start in England, and you may call me C, C for Chaos (0r Cash)!
LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!