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Of animals I have killed.

Today I was quietly napping behind the couch when I got startled by a little gray dart coming straight towards me. Not knowing what it was, I took the most logical course of action and dropped my jaws down on it. It tried to escape, but I killed it instantly. Daddy pulled me away and wouldn't let me eat it, but the point is that it learned that it shouldn't wake me up while I nap. I assume that all other gray darts have learned the same thing.
After Daddy pulled me away, I quickly lost interest and went back to my nap, leaving Daddy the boring job of throwing the little dart out into the trash and cleaning up the pool of blood it left behind on the floor. When Daddy was done with that, I was rewarded for ridding the house of such an evil beast with a Mr. Pugsley dipped in peanut butter and a rawhide.
Moral of the story? DON'T WAKE ME UP WHILE I NAP!!!

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

This Man Must Die

Why must Slash die? It's very simple. I was minding my own business watching Jimmy Kimmel's late night show (which is no longer funny without the writers) and Slash comes on. No big deal, I say to myself, it's just that lame guitarist from that lame band who ceased being relevant twenty years ago.
BUT THEN THE FREAKING JINGLING STARTS! He starts making all this noise as he walks out onto the stage like he's wearing dog collars and tags! Collars and tags?!? Collars and tags!!! How the heck could he do something so evil! OK, I never took the time to find out what made the jingling noises, but I'm sure it was him wearing collars and dog tags in an attempt to mock the suffering of dogs everywhere. How freaking insulting is that? Slash will pay for the evil taunting that he has engaged in. He will regret the day that he sided against the Revolution. He will pay the way that Andrew Lloyd Webber will pay. He will suffer, he will suffer.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!