This Man Must Die

Why must Slash die? It's very simple. I was minding my own business watching Jimmy Kimmel's late night show (which is no longer funny without the writers) and Slash comes on. No big deal, I say to myself, it's just that lame guitarist from that lame band who ceased being relevant twenty years ago.
BUT THEN THE FREAKING JINGLING STARTS! He starts making all this noise as he walks out onto the stage like he's wearing dog collars and tags! Collars and tags?!? Collars and tags!!! How the heck could he do something so evil! OK, I never took the time to find out what made the jingling noises, but I'm sure it was him wearing collars and dog tags in an attempt to mock the suffering of dogs everywhere. How freaking insulting is that? Slash will pay for the evil taunting that he has engaged in. He will regret the day that he sided against the Revolution. He will pay the way that Andrew Lloyd Webber will pay. He will suffer, he will suffer.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!