Do You Know How Freakin' Busy I Am?

The Revolution To Take Over The World is on hold while I battle him!
Who is he?
His name is Bogie the Groundhog. My Mommy and Daddy had named that stupid large squirrel Bogie. (Traitors! I may have to reconsider their heads and poles. No more jokes Joey. We all know you are a Pole. You think some poeple wouldn't want to advertise such a thing. Just kiddin' Joey, I'll still lick you in the face.)

Back to Bogie the Groundhog, he lives underneath the house next door.
He is my enemy.
He must die!
Two days ago I had him cornered.
I was going to grab him by the scruff of the neck and shake him to death by snapping his neck.
But guess who stops me? Just guess!
No, not O.J. Simpson! He was cheering me on & left some lawyers’ bidness cards.
It was Mommy The Traitor!

Mommy this is for you:
Your head is going on a pole. I don't care if you make my food, because I have a weak stomach. Grandma will do it for me, because I'm her favorite granddog.

Whatever! I’ll kill when I want to! I’ll eat when I want to! I’ll bark when I want to! Whatever!


LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

Mommy

So there's a mouse in the house. Well, there was, but my folks snagged it on a glue trap and it's dead and in the trash out front.
Daddy saw the mouse first and when he told Mommy that there was a mouse loose, she got angry at me for not having caught it. I was all like, "Um, Mommy, I'm a dog, OK? I don't catch mice or rats, it's not in my contract. That's what we have cats for, to catch nasty, filthy rodents. When the revolution comes, I'll keep just enough around to keep the rodent population under control."
She still didn't understand and kept freakin' out about it. She was like, "Oh my God, oh my God, there's a filthy mouse in the house! I have to clean everything! That's so gross, it's disgusting..."
At this point I had no choice but to bite her ankle and say, "Calm down, dangit! It's just a little mouse! Go buy some traps, catch the thing, and shut the heck up! Do you understand?"
She understood perfectly. I hate it when she freaks out like that. She does it all the freakin' time. It's really annoying.
LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

It's About DarnedTime!

I'm not asking for much, consarnitt, just that you not leave us all behind while you climb into the Superdome before rebuilding your chocolate city!
As such, you better tell your Senators to pass this darned bill! I know that a lot of hu-mans don't like this bill, but those hu-mans are idiots. Let me explain...
1) People can evacuate themselves easily.
2) Animals cannot escape as fast as hu-mans.
3) Hu-mans make us stay behind even when we realize that danger is coming because you all think that it will miraculously pass by or somehow not do that much damage.
4) How hard is it for you stupid hu-mans to understand that a CATEGORY 5 HURRICANE IS DANGEROUS AND THAT YOU SHOULD PROBABLY RUN AWAY?
5) You christians out there have to support this bill. Remember God giving you DOMINION OVER THE ANIMALS IN THE BOOK OF GENESIS? DO YOU?
6) Where was I going with this?
LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!