Quit Yer Bitchin'

Look, a lot of people have been whining about gas prices, and I am sick of it. I have a lot of stock in the different gas companies and the higher the price is, the more money I make. And I really need this money to follow through on my world domination plans. You see, without this money, it will take me longer to buy the tools and weapons that I need to bring down the evil hu-man overlords. If you want to help me out and avoid having your head on a pole once the revolution begins, then you better do one of the following:
1) Donate directly to me. If you want to, leave your email address in the comments section and I will give you instructions as to how to pay me. This method is a 100% effective way to avoid having your head placed on a pole.
2) Keep buying gas. And not just when you are low on gas, but every chance you get. Keep cans in your car/cars and fill them up. Fill up empty water bottles or soda bottles, have a gasoline fight like in Zoolander, or buy someone else gas. Not only does it help the revolution, but its also quite neighborly.
Please do one of the following. It really helps the revolution and helps you avoid having your head put on a pole.
LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!

Clarification

Just to reassure my Grandparents, they are not on the HEADS ON POLE list. I love them, and I need a contingency plan in case anything happens to my mom and dad.
This evil woman, though, made the list. The Cash has no tolerance for animal cruelty. I hope this woman suffers a horrible, horrible death followed by eternal damnation! I expect all of you to write the DA's office at the end of the link and urge him to try to get her head put on a pole. Failure to do so could result in my wrath.

Franklin County Virginia Made the List

Damn! I can't believe what the people at the county animal shleter are doing! How could they let this happen to a dog? I mean, it's a hound dog, too! I could understand if they let this happen to a Standard Poodle with odd haircuts, but a hound dog? How in the world could you let a dog receive your care day after day after day and not do anything about the fact that all you can see on the dog are its bones? How hard is it to take the dog to the vet and get its hookworms treated?
This is why I started the revolution! You bastards just keep killing and mistreating my fellow canines and you expect us to roll over on command and not do anything about it! Well, prepare for my wrath, bi-atches!!!
You know, if this had been a kid, people would be in jail and the Commonwealth's Attorney would be prosecuting! These people would be getting punished for what they did, not just being yelled at. And what is wrong with the people in that County? The euthanasia rate is at 86%! Ridiculous! God gave you hu-mans dominion over the animals in Genesis, yet you have failed. Fortunately, I saw that the public outcry against this dog's treatment has resulted in a substantial budget increase and has also prompted desire to make this a no-kill clinic. You feeble hu-mans better help this happen, or my wrath will reign down on you like some sort of wrath that reigns down on people.

Welcome

I am glad that your are visiting my blog, because doing so may well protect you from my wrath. I am Cash, leader of the powerful and super-secret Cash-Breeds. We are plotting a revolution that will take down the evil HU-MAN overlords once and for all.
You must choose whose side you are on. You can side with the HU-MANS and perish, or you can side with me and live as a well-taken care of slave. The choice is yours. Choose wisely, or this will happen to you...