John Edwards Sold Me Out!!!

With all the recent bitterness in the political campaigns, candidates are starting to look for wedge issues, and I'm the new wedge. John Edwards, in his never-ending desperate attempt to be President, is now arguing that President Bush hasn't done enough to keep the world safe from its most pressing danger, Radical Fundamental Canine Terrorism. I'm used to the heat, but this is particularly distressing. You see, Edwards and I worked out a deal whereby Canines would take out Hillary and Obama supporters in Iowa if he would distribute $10 million to the Revolution. Everything was going fine until last week when Edwards brought the issue up. While it wouldn't normally be a big deal, I have some deep cover operatives who have been programmed to take out their Mastahs for quite some time now and nothing is likely to stop them. So, um, I'm probably going to need to disappear for a little while. You guys haven't seen me.

LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!