You see I love my Grandma even though she is Hu-Man.
She’s small & fragile.
The other day she called me saying how much she missed me & my black hairs that get everywhere.
I was very busy at the time doing revolutionary stuff so I didn’t really respond well back to her.
I probably made her cry which is really easy to do.
When she cries I comfort her.
Instead of running out of the room like Skadi (she’s my canine aunt).
I need my Grandma.
I need her more than those little Hu-Man cousins of mine.
I hate them.
They take precious time, money, & energy from Grandma.
For example, Grandma is flying up to DC next week just to see one of those Hu-Man babies.
I eat Hu-Man babies for breakfast.
I own several franchise abortion clinics, “
Coat Hangers ‘R Us”.
Instead I should be with her at her house with the
doggy door & the big yard.
Life in the suburbs rock no matter how much you city lovers try to convince yourself it’s awful.
I have my yard.
I have the golf course to poo on especially the holes so the first golfers out will get fresh poo all over their balls.
Wonderful Times!
The other great thing about Grandma is that she is like my servant. You see, she will get up when I want a walk. She will feed me when I want food. She will give me treats when I want treats. She will let me on the bed (NOTE: Only when The Man That Come With Grandma is out of town). She’s home all day so I’m not lonely unlike my ungrateful Hu-Mans parents who don’t understand that my presence should be enough for them. I don’t take excuses like work & school kindly.
Grandma, don’t be fooled by Hu-Man babies who poop in their pants & make funny noises that causes me to bark at them to shut up. Grandma, I’ve bought a ticket on a Grey-Hound bus to come live with you. I’m all done with my Hu-Man Parents & I can bring the Revolution further down South to the place that started the Civil War.
LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!
9 Comments:
Man, for a revolutionary, you sure are a grandma's girl. I mean really, your revolution is obviously selective.
I read somewhere that if you get poo on your balls you aren't doing something right.
I would think that you would find a Greyhound bus offensive. Shouldn't that be the prime goal of your revolution?
Don't you listen to those mean boys, Cash! Even revolutionaries need their grandmas.
my roommate has black hairs that get everywhere, but i think those are pubes
uhh, you have human blood?
Next time That Man Who Comes With Grandma tries to kick you out of bed, you bite him between the legs. That'll teach him.
There's no place like Grandma's! Especially if she has a southern accent!
Grams souns COOL!
You shoud have her stuffd when she croaks!
Mike,
I love her! You choke on a pole!
AngryMan,
I find you offensive.
Phoebe,
If you were standing in front of me, I would be licking your feet.
SluttyBird,
I don't know what you are talking about.
Malach,
I have human blood dripping from my teeth.
Col,
Grandma would be mad at me & then she would cry.
Sara Sue,
She had a Midwestern accent.
Joey,
I'll stuff you for that comment.
LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!
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