You're going down!

Iams, Nutro, Eukanuba, Menu Foods the Canada-based company, & while I'm at it all Canucks ' heads are going on poles, not Joey's.

Poisoning the 40 brands of cat food was actually a plot by my wild pack of dogs, but our spy must of been forced to contaminate the 48 brands of dog food, too. The goal was to weaken cats to a point of near death. We would then swoop in, take them to our research labs, and watch them slowly die while we threw balls of string back and forth between each other. This, of course, was not totally necessary to our revolution, but it sure would have been a hell of a lot of fun. Sadly, it didn't work and some dogs died, too. I can only blame the cats for this. They must have pushed my spy to the point of madness which caused him to poison the dog food, too. My poor, poor revolutionary soldier. We will not forget you.

My assault on cats, Hu-Mans, & Canada will not end.
LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!