I'm Taking Charge

OK, so Mommy decided she wanted to help coach a soccer team that one of her co-worker's children is on. Because of this, Daddy and I had to go to the game with her. I was pretty excited at first because she put my soccer ball in a bag before we all got in the truck and headed over to the field.
When we got there, Mommy and Daddy threw the soccer ball and I would go catch it, pick it up, and bring it back. It was a lot of fun. Then, the game was about to start so Mommy went to help the kids warm up and Daddy and I watched. This is where it got pretty frustrating. You see, Mommy was supposedly helping the kids learn how to play soccer, but she wasn't teaching them to pick up the ball and throw it or kick it for a dog to chase. Heck, there wasn't even a dog playing with the kids! How can Mommy teach them how to play without a dog? What the heck was she thinking? Did anyone ever teach her how to play? Must have, because she knows enough to play with me. Anyway, I kept trying to get closer to the game to implement some changes, but Daddy kept us at a distance.
Once the game started, it got even worse. The kids just swarmed around the ball and had no clue what they were doing. Mommy never screamed out, "Throw it to the dog!" or "Why isn't a dog on the field?" or "Where is the dog?" I mean, what could she have been thinking? You can't play soccer without a dog! I wanted to get on the field so I could pick up the ball and run with it and show these kids a thing or two. But Daddy was sitting on a hill with me overlooking the field, so I couldn't do anything. I slowly started inching as close as I could, which wasn't far because I was on my oldest nemesis, the leash. God, I hate the leash!!!
Eventually, Daddy got the hint and we went down to the sidelines. He wouldn't let me run out on the field, though, which was horrible. Despite not having a dog, Mommy's team somehow won the game (don't ask me how, though). But Mommy needs to realize that the team is not going to win unless they implement some changes. The first and most important being that the team needs a dog. Since I am, by far, the best soccer playing dog there is, I will gladly be the team dog.
And Mommy, since you don't have any interest in putting me on the team, I am going to have to take over. So next Saturday, you can sit on the sideline on a leash with Daddy while I run the team as a player-coach. Understand?
LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!