New Plan

I've decided that my revolution needs to take a new direction. Instead of just focusing on murders and heads on poles, I'm going to include brainwashing. I got the idea from this movie called Jesus Camp. In it, these weird looking fat people with moustaches brainwash kids to make them believe in something about a guy with a personality disorder who believed he was three different people. Anyway, these weirdos force kids to accept this guy as their savior by scaring the crap out of them. The weirdos tell the kids that if they don't believe in the guy with the personality disorder, they'll die and go to hell.
This was the part that I didn't understand. The guy in hell seems like he's pretty cool. He seems like the kind of guy who will let dogs chew rawhides with peanut butter all day. I mean, wouldn't you rather hang out with him than a guy who thinks he's three different people?
But I've gotten off track, let me get back to my point. The weirdos get all of the kids so dedicated and freakishly devoted to the personality disorder guy that they go up to complete strangers at bowling alleys and try to convert them to believe in the personality disorder guy. When I saw that, I realized that was true power. I also realized that if I could harness that devotion, I could infiltrate the Hu-Mans' home through their children. The Hu-Mans would have no idea what was going on until it was too late! The Hu-Mans won't have any idea what 'em! It'll be perfect.
I figure it ought to be easy to take over the weirdos operation thanks to the hits they've taken lately. The weirdos are so desperate that they'll believe in anyone right now, I won't have any problem taking over their operation.