Expanding the Revolution
I've decided that my revolution will be furthered by bringing more animals into the fold. You see, the stupid Hu-Mans will have to fight a two-front war and they will fail, just like President Bush is failing in Iraq. The problem, though, is which animal to choose. After some initial research, I decided that cows would be the best animals to bring into the revolution. Think about it. Cows give Hu-Mans the following:
1) Milk
2) A bunch of milk products like cottage cheese, yogurt, cheese, etc.
3) Beef (it's what for dinner)
4) Leather
5) Energy
a) The form of energy that cows provide can also be turned into food for dogs, so it's a win-win-win.
By using cows, I can hit the Hu-Mans hard and take out a big chunk of their food supply. Brilliant, really.
But that's what concerns me. Why does a cow let herself get used by the Hu-Man so much? What does the cow get in return for all of this? Something suspicious is afoot, methought, so I called my friends over at PSI and put them on the case. What PSI found out was most disturbing.
COWS ARE TRANSFORMERS!
You thought that they had those extra stomach compartments just so they could ease digestion, WRONG!!! It turns out that the extra compartments hide the transformer parts that cows turn into when Hu-Mans aren't around. They're even planning their own revolution! They're going to wreek havoc on Hu-Man kind just as soon as their leader gets back on TV and gives them the OK.
You'd think that I'd be OK with this, but I'm not. I can't let a bunch of cud-eaters beat me to my goal of putting Malach's head on a pole! Now, not only do I have a revolution to fight, but I have to stop another revolution from happening. Will my work ever end?
LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!
posted by Cash @ 10:48 AM
8 comments
8 Comments:
Please stop them now. Their leader scares the living hell out of me.
Th real threat comes from th fact that evn cut-off pieces o DEAD cows can attack.
Jus th othr day, I jus found myself flat on my back wif some round rump in my face!
I just hope for your sake, it wasn't their leaders round rump in your face.
Cows taste delicious and are easy to tip
Mike: How was I a-spposta tell? From my perspecktive, it was, like, a total ecklipse o reality.
Why don't you get Hu-Mans to tip the cows? This will start a war between the Hu-Mans and the cows and then you can move in when each side is weak.
I just spent a week cow tipping! WAH!
Mike,
She will eat you with mayo.
The Pole,
Or was you humping a round rump.
The Headless One,
Just wait until their Leader hears about this.
AngryMan,
I already have Hu-Mans working for me. Shhh!
Sara Sue,
Did you step in any cow patties?
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